Daniel,
Sorry buddy this is really shit, I'll keep it short:
1) You did NOT cause your wife's ill health, in anyway. Even if the situation has been a contributing factor, it's the WT that has enforced this situation, not you
2) JWs are false, don't bother with the JC, they have nothing on you, they are just people - leave them behind
3) There is no God, sorry if that seems harsh now, but as soon as you can accept that you will move on and WILL heal in time.
Chin up bud x
[Another] Dan